Heather Armstrong, blogger at Dooce.com, publicly announced her divorce before declaring it a private matter.

Heather Armstrong, blogger at Dooce.com, publicly announced her divorce before declaring it a private matter.

Yesterday, popular mom blogger Heather Armstrong announced on her website, Dooce.com, that she and her husband, Jon, have decided to end their 10 year marriage, and noted that she and Jon have chosen to keep the details to the hows and whys private.  Jon’s website posted an identical message – both promising they remain good friends.

It was almost exactly a year ago when Heather announced that she and Jon were going through a separation.  Little was said about it at that time, too, though it was mentioned on Jon’s site that Heather was the one who asked for the divorce and hinted at Heather’s struggle with depression – something Heather has battled for years and chronicled in her blog after her first child was born.

Dooce.com is one of those mom blogs that draws you in because of Heather’s blatant honesty.  She says all the things many of us are thinking, both loving on her kids and making fun of them in the same sentence, and revealing all the different parts that make her who she is – and make it ok for us to be who we are.  Her public struggles have helped many women in the same position she’s been in as Heather gave others a sense that they weren’t weird, shameful, or alone in what they were going through.

So to not share something that is such a huge part of her life must be both relieving in the sense of maintaining some privacy, as well as painful to not be able to share it just as she has with every other struggle she’s gone through.

Are you a blogger?  Do you blog about your family?  How do you decide what’s ok to talk about publicly, or what’s better to be kept private?  Do you ever struggle with this decision?

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  1. Lizzie D

    I only just read this and therefore my comment is a bit late… I love Dooce and love the way Heather connects with her readers. She’s transparent and it is so easy to relate to that. I love the personality she reveals through her blog.
    I also blog, for a year now, and include my family in many posts. What I make public and keep private kind of follow what I do offline and how and with whom I share certain aspects of my life. I wish Heather and her girls all the best and that 2013 is a good year for them.

    January 12th, 2013 6:10 pm

  2. The.Village

    That’s what I love about Dooce as well. She’s so honest, saying the things we only think in our heads, and admitting faults that we all carry. She’s just so real. And it bothers me that there are so many people who hate on her, especially since she is a real person with real feelings, going through real life. Personally, I think it’s appropriate that she keeps the details to her divorce to herself, though I’m sure it must also feel like a betrayal to her readers, as well as hard to do since her blog is likely an outlet to what she’s feeling inside.

    January 14th, 2013 4:40 pm

  3. mary

    I don’t understand how folks gush about her honesty when it is obvious she was leaving out details of her crumbling marriage. You can’t be an honest blogger and also hide stuff from your readers.

    January 23rd, 2013 6:58 pm

  4. The.Village

    I think you can be an honest blogger and leave out parts of your life. After all, it’s her actual life that she is living, with actual hurts. I don’t know anyone who lays every single part of their life out on the table, even for their closest friends. The fact that she is admitting to keeping parts of her life off limits in her blog adds to her honesty. No one knows the absolute details of her divorce except for her and Jon. And truthfully, nobody needs to, IMO.

    January 24th, 2013 9:42 am

  5. Seattle Divorce Appraiser

    Kudos for telling motherhood like it is. I really respect that and have always tried to do the same thing in my life. But some things need and deserve a place for privacy. In time, details may be revealed, but for now I can totally understand the need for privacy.

    January 29th, 2013 9:13 pm

  6. Tom Leykis

    She’s a slow, certain, talentless, shrill, histrionic, irrational, medicated trainwreck. He’ll be glad he escaped.

    May 5th, 2013 3:14 pm

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